True confessions? I fell prey to TV series marathons over the Christmas Break. Over time it metamorphosed into a socio-anthropological obsession over mainstream humanity’s side roads. Hoarders, Intervention, Teen Moms, I Used to Be Fat, Half-Ton Dad (1035 pounds to be exact) , Animal Hoarders (NOT animals who hoard, but people who hoard animals; like 119 dogs and cats in one case, all of which were kept inside).
I did not quest after these shows but having the TV on in the background while piling laundry to put away and writing my holiday cards, I was sucked in. I began to pause the TV when needing to leave the room. Recording the end of the episode I could not live without seeing. Even getting season passes on TiVo for a few (which I quickly cancelled the next day when regaining my senses….except for Hoarders).
The most disturbing had to be My Strange Obsession on TLC. The episode I watched featured two people. One with an obsession with sleeping with her hair blow dryer, on, next to her in the bed and the other one who eats toilet paper (clean). The latter snacks on it all through the day and even takes sheets in her purse to the movie theatre where she was shown popping pieces into her mouth like popcorn. It is estimated she’s consumed 1,200 pounds of TP in her lifetime. The follow on episode proves to ‘out’ a ventriloquist who will only talk through her dummy and a woman who ingests abrasive household cleanser. As you might imagine, it was painful to watch.
A bit more mainstream, although nonetheless painful, is the Food Network’s series Worst Cooks in America whose second season premiered this week. Some of the concoctions made by these desiring-to-‘improve’ home cooks were revolting. There was Kelsey, the girl who put boatloads of cayenne pepper in a dry pan at high heat, almost sending the entire gaggle of contestants to the hospital with a complete noxious smoke out. Then there was Erika, who admits she eats like a kid and cooks like a kid. She prepared the bologna quesadilla with processed cheese from a can seen below, fashioned with saltines into an image of the sun (in her defense she gave a very heartfelt plea, that she truly wanted to learn which swayed me onto her fan list). Kat throws whole peppercorns into her quiche; yum. Lina (who rightfully was sent home) prepared ‘Bloody Eggs’ (her title) filled with catsup.
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Photo courtesy of the Food Network website
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In the spirit of this show I found this little gem in Nana’s recipe box and decided it would be the perfect recipe to accompany this post. I treated this recipe as I did my TV viewing; with open mind and suspended judgment (an active effort, believe me) to see if the ‘punch line’ holds true. I’ll spare you photos of the preparatory steps for fear the FCC might shut my blog down for infractions on my reader’s basic human decency.
Hor D’Oeuvre
· ¼ cup smooth peanut butter
· 2 ½ teaspoons mayonnaise
· ¾ teaspoon curry powder
· Toasted bread squares
· Sliced green pitted olives (garnish)
I used organic smooth peanut butter, canola mayonnaise, some curry powder from Singapore and toasted gluten-free bread cut into 2 inch by 1 inch pieces (desparately trying to give this a fighting chance from an ingredient quality perspective).
I followed the recipe fully which is how I derived my proportions above. The mixture is spreadable but is closer to a liquid than a thick spread. I could not taste the olive (maybe black would be better for taste, for color I thought green would be better).
My verdict: It’s decent. I was so disgusted about the combination of ingredients that I was sure I would not like it. It really was not bad (though it still does gross me out a bit). Not quite ready to serve it at my next cocktail party.
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On second thought, is it just me or does this look like animal droppings?!
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kitchenarian says
Ok – this is all grossly fascinating. I was drawn into your story and fascinated with your cable television review of shows available to watch. I still haven't gotten over Worst Cooks In America. I would be watching it with my hands over my eyes (almost!) You have confirmed my decision that I made years ago not to subscribe to cable television. -haha- Of course my children think they are the only children in America deprived of cable tv!
Great post. I do love reading your blog! Happy New Year!!
Jenny (VintageSugarcube) says
HAHA!!! I love this post and the story and the recipe (most importantly). But then I adore all the recipes from the 50'. You rock and big kudos to you for stepping outside the box! Happy New Year darling!!
Rosemary says
Great post. . . I've been sucked into Animal Hoarders a couple of times. (How can they DO that?) But your picture sure makes those little snacks look a lot better than I would have thought after the reading the ingredient list!
Tastemonials says
What a fun post! I don't think I could bear most of those shows, but I did watch Worst Cooks last season. Couldn't do it again this year. I didn't eat toilet paper, but maybe they could do a show on me anyway. When I was a kid I used to each the stick as well as the lollipop!
Boulder Locavore says
Hi Elisabeth! You know I think maybe we all know more people than we think who are afflicted with these conditions. I would only hope, and will extend this as an invitation amongst bloggy friends, that if I ever begin to post recipes that contain abrasive cleanser or reveling in how much I love sleeping with my blow dryer DESPITE the mysterious burns I woke up with, you'd stage a cyber-intervention. Please.
Thank you for your comment on the vintage delight. As I commented to Roxan it was not until I finally decided my photo was as good as I could get that I looked at it and thought maybe it looked horrid….I wasn't sure! Off to check your site now!
Boulder Locavore says
Hi Gals,
Thanks for the comments. I probably should have said I was kidnapped, held at gunpoint and forced to watch the embarrassing number of hours I watched but I will admit I was morbidly curious having not realized so many of these predicaments exist. I also am intrigued about why so many of these TV shows are on. Are these behaviors on the rise? Why do people want to see them? My worst personal fear would be to BE on a TV show so I cannot imagine sharing I eat toilet paper but I suppose if it helps others it's good.
Roxan; thanks for the generous comment on the 'hor d'oeuvre'. It should have been a clue how ridiculously long it took me to get a photo providing any semblance of interesting. It was not until I posted said photo that it struck me how unappetizing it looked! I found it so funny I just had to make it.
Elisabeth says
Toni-About the only of those shows I watched is the Hoarders. My friend claims her brother, who is a well respected Washington DC government worker, is just like one of those people on T.V. and she contacted the show to help him…so “ironic” but true! (from what she claims)
Love your humor about the old fashioned Hor D'Deuvre, and actually think your version is not only presentable, but would work as a cute little appetizer, and snack. I love the combination of the flavors…seriously!
Check out my blog for my take on the peanut butter&jam crepes, and a $50 gift certificate giveaway!
Loved you post!!!
Lea Ann says
Great post. I've never watched any of those shows, but hear people talking about them. I found odd appetizer recipes in my mom's stash and sadly think they've been thrown out. And LOL, there are times that I've wanted to post some of my blog photos with that same comment, or “what the dog thew up”.
Roxan says
I love Intervention! But I can't watch hoarders. I thought it would be good like Intervention but it just plain freaks me out. It's so sad…
I think you did a good job with these hors doeurves, they don't look like animal droppings to me. I'd still eat them 😉
adventuresomekitchen says
LOL!!!!!! My husband and I just got hooked on Veronica Mars.. Love Netflix- no waiting until next week!!